Some Questions to ponder

01. CAN YOU CRY UNDER WATER? 02. HOW IMPORTANT DOES A PERSON HAVE TO BE BEFORE THEY ARE ASSASSINATED INSTEAD OF JUST MURDERED 03. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO `PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN`… BUT ITS ONLY `A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS`? WHERE’S THAT EXTRA PENNY GOING TO? 04. ONCE YOU ARE IN HEAVEN, DO YOU GET STUCK WEARING THE CLOTHES YOU WERE BURIED IN FOR ETERNITY? 05. WHY DOES A ROUND PIZZA COME IN A SQUARE BOX? 06. WHAT DISEASE DID CURED HAM ACTUALLY HAVE? 07. IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH A PROSTITUTE AGAINST HER WILL, IS IT CONSIDERED RAPE OR SHOPLIFTING? 08. HOW IS IT THAT WE CAN PUT MAN ON THE MOON BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT WHEELS ON LUGGAGE? 09. WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE SAY THEY `SLEPT LIKE A BABY` WHEN BABIES WAKE UP LIKE EVERY TWO HOURS? 10. IF A DEAF PERSON HAS TO GO TO COURT ID IT STILL CALLED A HEARING? 11. WHY ARE YOU `IN` A MOVIE BUT `ON` TV? 12. WHY DO PEOPLE PAY TO GO UP TALL BUILDING AND THEN PUT MONEY IN BINOCULARS TO LOOK AT THINGS ON THE GROUND? 13. WHY DO DOCTORS LEAVE THE ROOM WHILE YOU CHANGE? THEY ARE GOING TO SEE YOU NAKED ANYWAY? 14. WHY IS `BRA` SINGULAR AND `PANTIES` PLURAL? 15. WHY DO TOASTER HAVE A SETTING THAT BURNS THE TOAST TO A HORRIBLE CRISP, WHICH NO DECENT HUMAN BEING WOULD EAT? 16. IF JIMMY CRACKS CORN AND NO ONE CARES, WHY IS THERE A STUPID SONG ABOUT HIM? 17. IF THE PROFESSOR ON GILLIGAN`S ISLAND CAN MAKE A RADIO OUT OF A COCONUT, WHY CANT HE FIX A HOLE IN A BOAT? 18. WHY DOES GOOFY STAND ERECT WHILE PLUTO REMAINS ON ALL FOURS? THERE`RE BOTH DOGS! 19. IF WILE E. COYOTE HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ALL THAT ACME CRAP, WHY DIDN’T`T HE JUST BUY DINNER? 20. IF CORN OIL MADE FROM CORN, AND VEGETABLE OIL MADE FROM VEGETABLES, WHAT IS BABY OIL MADE FROM? 21. IF ELECTRICITY COMES FROM ELECTRONS, DOES MORALITY COME FROM MORONS? 22. DO THE ALPHABET SONG ANS TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HAVE THE SAME TUNE? 23. WHY DID YOU JUST TRY SINGING THE TWO SONGS ABOVE? 24. WHY DO THEY CALL IT AN ASTEROID WHEN OUTSIDE THE HEMISPHERE, BUT CALL IT A HEMORRHOID WHEN ITS IN YOUR BUTT? 25. DID YOU EVER NOTICE THAT WHEN YOU BLOW IN A DOG`S FACE, HE GETS MAD AT YOU, BUT WHEN YOU TAKE HIM FOR A CAR RIDE HE STICKS HIS HEAD OUT OF THE WINDOW? WHY, WHY, WHY, 26, WHY DO WE PRESS HARDER ON A REMOTE CONTROL WHEN WE KNOW THE BATTERIES ARE GETTING DEAD? 27. WHY DO BANKS CHARGE A FEE ON `INSUFFICIENT FUNDS` WHEN THEY KNOW THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MONEY? 28. WHY DO PEOPLE BELIEVE YOU WHEN YOU TELL THEM THERE ARE FOUR BILLIONS STARS IN THE SKY, BUT CHECK WHEN YOU SAY THE PAINT IS WET? 29. WHY DO THEY USE STERILIZED NEEDLED FOR DEATH BY LETHAL INJECTION? 30. WHY DOESN’T TARZAN HAVE A BEARD? 31. WHY DOES SUPERMAN STOP BULLETS WITH HIS CHEST BUT DUCKS WHEN YOU THROW A REVOLVER AT HIM? 32. WHY DO KAMIKAZE PILOTS WEAR HELMETS? 33. IF PEOPLE EVOLVED FROM APES, WHY ARE THERE STILL APES? 34. WHY IS IT NO MATTER WHAT COLOUR BUBBLE BATH YOU USE THE BUBBLES ARE ALWAYS WHITE? 35. IS THERE EVER A DAY THAT MATTRESSES ARE NOT ON SALE? 36. WHY DO PEOPLE CONSTANTLY RETURN TO THE REFRIGERATOR WITH HOPES THAT SOMETHING NEW TO EAT WILL HAVE MATERIALIZED? 37. WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP RUNNING OVER A STRING A DOZEN TIMES WITH THEIR VACUUM CLEANER, THEN REACH DOWN PICK IT UP, EXAMINE IT, THEN PUT IT DOWN TO GIVE THE VACUUM ONE LAST CHANCE? 38. WHY IS IT THAT NO PLASTIC BAG WILL OPEN FROM THE END YOU TRY FIRST? 39. HOW DO DEAD BUGS GET INTO THOSE ENCLOSED LIGHT FIXTURES? 40. WHEN WE ARE IN THE SUPERMARKET ANS SOMEONE RAMS OUR ANKLE WITH THE SHOPPING CART THE APOLOGIZES FOR DOING SO, WHY DO WE SAY, `IT`S ALL RIGHT?` WELL, IT ISN`T ALL RIGHT, SO WHY DON`T WE SAY `THAT REALLY HURT, WHY DON`T YOU WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING?` 41. WHY IS IT THAT WHENEVER YOU ATTEMPT TO CATCH SOMETHING THAT`S OFF THE TABLE YOU ALWAYS MANAGE TO KNOCK SOMETHING ELSE OVER? 42. IN WINTER WHY DO WE TRY TO KEEP THE HOUSE AS WARM AS IT WAS IN SUMMER WHEN WE COMPLAINED ABOUT THE HEAT? 43. HOW COME WE NEVER HEAR FATHER IN LAW JOKES? AND MY FAVOURITE…….. 44. THE STATISTICS ON SANITY IS THAT ONE OUT OF EVER FOUR PERSONS ARE SUFFERING FROM SOME SORT OF MENTAL ILLNESS, THINK OF YOUR THREE BEST FRIENDS - - IF THEY`RE OK, THEN ITS YOU.